Sunday, June 10, 2007

In Space, No One Can Eat Ice Cream...

Though life as a freelancer wasn't always lucrative, the work was steady and interesting for quite a while there. I still have some work from Antigravity Magazine and my longstanding professor client, but my volume began to dwindle-fade-dwindle at the top of '07. Ensuring a consistent workload is a freelancer's biggest challenge anywhere, though this challenge became more pronounced in '07, especially before relocating back to New York.

Now, I've begun the jobhunt and client search anew. My sources (namely, stumblebums and carnies) tell me it can take up to five months to land a promising position in one's field, and publishing is certainly competitive. It's only been two months and I'm about to chew my arm off-- and that's with enough work to keep my mind somewhat limber. Maybe it's the horror movies I watched last night, but I'm coming to understand the carnivorous, desperate nature of zombies, werewolves and klowns.

Is there anybody out there?

A. The Day of Work Required for Certain Applications---Sans Any Guarantee of a Response, Let Alone an Interview

One of today's Craigslist offerings--albeit one I'm overqualified for and uninterested in--is still so, well, special that I feel compelled to mention it.

Lesson One for the Novice Editor: Your Resume? Don't Mean a Thang.


Instead, write in and tell us:

1) What were the last 3 books you read, and what did you learn?

2) What has been your greatest success, and greatest failure in the past 3 years?

6) If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?
[I am not making this up. Also: Note their numbering skills.]

8) Do you subscribe to any magazines, or newspapers? Which ones?

5) What do you want to be doing three years form now?
[Learning how to distinguish "form" and "from"?]

7) Give us your top 3 stock picks which you expect to double in the next 12 months, along with your investment thesis."

Is there anybody out there?

B. The Low-Paying, No Benefits, No Security Gig: All Take, No Give

""P/T EDITORIAL ASSISTANT (20 hours per week, long-term temporary)

Reports to: Editor

Responsibilities: Research, edit, perform data entry, and proofread information for database publication.

Requirements: Attention to detail and good copyediting skills required. Database experience helpful.

Hours: Flexible. Must be able to work 20 hours per week (Monday - Friday between the hours of 9:00am - 5:00pm)."

In a semi-frustrated moment, I thought this job might be a good way to ensure some part-time income in my field as I recruit clients and/or job leads. I applied a month ago, when the ad first appeared on, and heard nothing--until it appeared again on Craigslist (In terms of one's chances? Bad sign). This time, however, the following information was included:

"Salary: $9.00 per hour"

This pay rate is, of course, a joke by Manhattan standards and--bonus!--no job security beyond "long-term temporary" or, natch, benefits.

C. Do as I Say, Not as I...

"Please send concise, sharp email with relevant job experiece stated briefly. A love of fashion is not enough here. Don't misspell anything."

Is there anybody out there?