The Gulf Coast

I don't have any spare hair to send. I mean, we all only have so much -- and some none at all (those people? Hate 'merica). How do hair donations stack up against millions of gallons, exactly? Hardly seems an adequate solution -- outside a corporate kleptocracy, that is. Just like stuffing levee flood walls with newspapers? Not the best plan.

Whoop, time to get out the duct tape. Almost forgot someone recently left his cooler unattended near Times Square, right near where I get my favorite cawfee! Also, if I keep the duct tape around my mouth, the Gulf-induced screams remain muffled.

The future's uncertain and the end is always near...