A Case of Mistaken Identity

Via a series of text messages I received Saturday, the first one being:

Mommy ur daughter got my heart

I knew it was a wrong, though local, number when I saw the word "Mommy," a word that creeps me out when used by anyone over the age of, oh, 11 or so. Also, I don't have a daughter. Or any offspring I'm aware of.

This initial message was immediately followed by:
I like lea shes good girl nd that's wat I need she jus think ima hurt her like the rest

The name in question was close enough to my own first name that I'll admit I felt a bit defensive at this point, after some more months of dating, or trying to again, because woo, do I live in the land of 1,000 dodged bullets, baby.

And then:
She is my heart.

Finally, hours later: Howz ur day goin sofar mommy inlaw

Mommy inlaw? Yikes. It was at this point that I ended this particular interaction, or tried to, entertaining as it was, by pointing out I have no idea who any of the people in question are.

This leaa mother.
Then: This Damien mommy jus checkn up on u maken sure my mother inlaw is ok.

Family plan, their case of mistaken identity.