Sunday, July 24, 2016

39

Thoughts on my Thirties

I'm not doing it on purpose, but my experience of being in my 30s seems to differ from what I hear heralded as positive or typical or negative. For instance, I like the generation of younger people labeled millennials. I liked my 20s better and no, not because I was partying, tho I could write a field guide or two.

I like myself and my thoughts and the way I feel inside better in my 30s. It's been a more internal, solo at times trip. Even the two men I've loved in my 30s have been more introverted.

My focus is more on the future and I've learned I'm more of an optimist than I thought. I've re-learned that I get along well with people older than me, too.

I've had this entire decade with my cat, who defies conventions about cats, some of which are easy to defy since they're based on stupid stereotypes, others of which make him even more magical to me. I have less interest in, or tolerance for, unkindness, or sexist crap. In this vein, I have had more harm done to me by men alleging to be my friends than any man I've ever dated.

I'm fortunate to have been well loved by well men, another reality I've become more cognizant of here in my 30s.

I don't care what an outlier it makes me, the idea of giving up my last name is offensive and bizarre and I won't do it. Any kids I have or adopt will bear my last name. How about them apples?

Here in my 30s, what is the deal with moaning about being old or single or this or that in a country where the average life expectancy is 78.74 years? I'm not talking about talking about frustration, but the complaining, as if we have failed or been failed and maybe we have but now we must what? Return ourselves to the factory where we were made? Get a receipt for more time?

There's only going on, even with stalling.

I plan to live 'til I'm at least 95--No. Make that 101.

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