Sue Us.

I'm glad New York is considering a ban on the TSA's body snatcher, I mean, body scanner machines from both JFK and LaGuardia, though I already avoid the latter at all costs. That would be where I learned the ticket I'd purchased for my first trip back to New Orleans in 2005 did "not exist," for one of many happy memories, another being the crazyass busdriver who shuttled me between terminals to a flight that did exist.

I really want to know what it's like, the training sessions for those new TSA policies. Sounds like they could be comedy gold. But what is it like to actually think that way, to be that sadistic, that afraid, that...? CBS says 80 percent of the American public is in favor of the snatchers, er, scanners, but that survey is based on a sample of 240 or so people (I refuse to link to it here because it's such obvious hasty p.r.). Playing along for a second, though, how many of the good timers surveyed for this little poll have actually experienced being scanned, or groped, by the TSA -- or under other circumstances?

Those rubenesque blue body scan images

I remember when places like Kansas didn't have so much concern, such patriotism for New York. Back when everyone thought anyone from New York, wherever in the state it was, was strange, off somehow, filthy even. Then September 11 happened and that changed. Or did it? This legislation feels like a ground zero saying thanks, but no, to these faux protections for its own good. At last...

Now what?